Thursday, June 14, 2012

I had a friend I answered.....


Chris, I have a question for you- I pray that you will appreciate my honesty. I'm having trouble wrapping my head around homosexuality and the LDS church. Since both these topics are prevalent in your life, I'd thought I'd pick your brain. I guess I am wondering what your take on the church is- you support your kids going (and your son on a mission) and take them and sit with them, etc. How does that mesh with your gay life now? They seem in contradiction. Please know that this question comes from a place of love and seeking understanding. I always tell people I'd rather you ask the question than go on in ignorance. I believe that is a feeling we share.

Hoping you can shed some light on my quandary...



Zachary is in Mexico City on a mission, Paisley will attend BYU-I in the Fall, Ayden and Kaleb are at Scout camp this week with the ward, Isaac is at Day camp with the ward. This is not something that I can ignore. Being LDS means that your life is meshed with the church, its programs, systems, and culture. I have to accept that that will be the case for everyone in my family and to NOT rock the boat too much.

Me coming out was enough of a "rock the boat" situation. I think that if I was negative and persistent that my children have other experiences in a broader sense....would be more harmful to them. I do not agree with the doctrine of the church, PERIOD. I do not want to influence the children to be too critical of the system in which they are a part. That would be unfair and unnecessary.

I have attended church here in FL a couple of times. Good ward (noisy with lots of little children). I know that if the children visit me I need to continue that consistency for them regardless of my personal beliefs. The church is a helpful, useful, good organization. Individually people can be hateful and hurtful. I have stored up a lot of bitterness over the years for the church, but I have to remember that those were individuals. I know the church is not inclusive of people like me. Organizations and systems are set up based on common beliefs. The church has the right to be exclusive. Just like I have the right to exclude people from my life because of dissonance.

I do not like going to church, but I think it is necessary. First, for my children....second, to help people see that I truly am a normal person and not some evil aberration! I am the same person that I was in Idaho, Texas, Kansas and now Florida. I care, serve, love, listen, learn and laugh just as before. The unfortunate thing is that my bedroom activities now define me differently. Your bedroom activities define you too....but your activities are acceptable and the standard within most systems and organizations. I do not think it fair that that difference should be there....but that is up for political, emotional, controversial discussion.

I hope this makes sense.....I am probably will make this my next blog entry! Thank you for asking and for your love and kindness.


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