From a historical perspective, I can think of Rulers, Dictators, Regimes, and Religion as examples of control. This list can go on infinitely. What type of characteristics do these type of systems/people have in common? The need to perpetuate their beliefs, wishes, desires, actions and/or outcomes. History has seen many of these situations come and go. Portions of their influence or control has been imprinted on societies and individuals for centuries.
Seeing this pattern, how does an individual know where to balance that control in their personal life and the affect it may have on others. In general when a person/people are compelled to do something....rebellion ensues. I know that is EXACTLY how I am. I value choice, freedom and the values I am able to learn and accumulate through those experiences. I firmly believe that each individual needs those same opportunities or there becomes a general mistrust and sense of unfairness that is learned.
Each person as they grow and learn develop from an infants' needs for a controlled system to an adult system that is more individually adaptable and is subject to change. Persons that we may be responsible for need to feel the latitude of options and choices available to them when they are able and ready to handle those situations.
Am I doing all I can to promote that ability to learn and grow? Am I too controlling, even though I feel like I am the antithesis of control? What things to I need to re-examine? A friend recently corrected my reaction to a situation (for which I am deeply grateful). Was my reaction my exhibition of control? Or was it my abhorrence of controlling situations that lead me there? I need to do some self-examination to root out the foundation of this reaction and see what I can do differently in the future.
I too am trying to find a balance......