Monday, May 28, 2012

Trying to normalize

I went to church today….in FL for the first time since moving here.  I called the Bishop earlier in the week.  Asking when church started and the address.  Instead of the usual benefit that members give when they move to a new ward….I will probably become an unwanted burden (this may not happen, I am only expressing how I feel).  John went with me also.  This was his first experience in an LDS service. 

General observations were, it was rather loud and irreverent during the service, John even mentioned how loud it was.  We really could not even hear the speakers.  We left sacrament meeting, passed the Bishop and his 2 Counselors in the hallway.  No acknowledgment, they probably see tons of people come and go.  I will reach out to them the next time and see what comes of it.

I desire to accomplish 2 things as I reach out to the LDS community locally....1)  to have a place for my children to connect when they are with me.....2)  to advocate for change or inclusion or tolerance, or acceptance, or compassion, or caring, or simply being Christ-like.  My second aspiration might be a bit lofty.  

Getting settled in any place is always a HUGE undertaking.  Expenses for set up, deposits, rent, and other things you don't think of.  I have exhausted my resources to the Nth degree.  Moved into a cute little place that will fit my needs for a while.  I agonized over finding a place.  Glad I found this one.

Glad summer is here for the kids in KS.  I don't worry about them as much....making sure that they get off to school.  I am gratified that my children are so strong.  They are such great examples to me.  I love them desperately.  I have my crying fit daily because I miss them so.  It usually happens early in the morning or late at night....when I have time to think about it.  I am trying to make their life better, but there are so many times I think I am failing them miserably.  In reality I felt the same way when I was with them 24/7.  Somehow I need to find out where the balance is and move forward with that comfort.  

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