Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Varying Goodbyes

It has been interesting to witness all of the goodbyes that have been happening over the past week.

The office had a reception for me.  It was well planned, executed and orderly....probably the more formal goodbye that I have had this week.  I truly appreciate all that went into the planning of this event, and am thankful for those that came to say goodbye.  I did a lot of crying!

My last gay dads group was on Wednesday.  I drove back from Topeka to attend.  These men have had a profound impact on my life.  I wish I could transport them all to Orlando with me so that I can continue having healthy, meaningful conversations with them.  I love them all.  The hardest person to say goodbye to was our mediator.....what a wonderful man!

MY KASFAA family was excruciatingly hard to say goodbye to.  These people have been there for me professionally and personally.  I could call a number of them on the spur of the moment and receive guidance on a myriad of topics.  We played hard and worked hard.  What a great group of people.  Many of them will still be on speed dial!

My church associations was particularly interesting.  After having provided many in the ward congregation with years of service, countless hours of volunteer work, I had 4 people say goodbye.  Many times when it is the last Sunday for a given individual or family, they have an opportunity to get up and express their love, appreciation and thanks to those in the congregation.  Being a rouge in the congregation, that opportunity is one I cannot take.  I have to sit there in silence, and hope someone listens.  I guess there were a few that I connected with.  Those few that I connected with, I have DEEP feelings for....and could talk to each of them for hours.  For those that had an opportunity to say goodbye, and just came up to enjoy an awkward sentence or two.....I tire of people not being able to be real and authentic.  Maybe we can all learn from these experiences, but I think my hope is empty.

I said goodbye to my children.  The 4 younger boys either don't recognize the length of time that they will see me, do not know how to express themselves, or they are interested in other things.  I love my boys.  I will continue to express that to them and be their greatest fan (from a longer distance).  I cried VERY hard when I left them.  I called a friend after leaving them and I could not get out a full sentence.  Each of these boys have a bright future ahead of them.  I hope to be a positive influence in their lives.  An example of honesty.  An example of Equality.  An example of Love!

Paisley was the hardest one to say goodbye to, so far.  What a beautiful woman.  She is bright, loving, and head-strong.  I love the twinkle in her eyes.  She brings joy and comfort to my life.  I wish I could be more like her....she is so mature and understanding.  I love her with all my heart!  Thank you Sis for some wonderful experiences lately!  There are so many people in your life that are looking after you.

The 2 people I am not looking forward to goodbye....are Gigi and John.  I will need to write a novel just to express the words that I will be feeling for each of them.  I love you both....and hope we each will be able to adapt to being apart for days, weeks or months.  When John finds comparable employment, his distance will be minimized of which I am thankful.  Gigi and I will need to find way to see each other in the future.

Thank you all for a wonderful ride!

No comments:

Post a Comment