At some point we each need to take responsibility for what we are doing and where we find ourselves in life. No one else placed us here......exactly at this place and time.....we each have made decisions that lead us to where we are. The HARD part is to accept responsibility, acknowledge ones placement, and celebrate that space and time. Here are a few examples of what I mean:
1) I continue to struggle (although it is lessening) that the institution of church got me into the mess. There was no way to come out in a closed institutional structure without excruciating pain and anguish for the individual. I was not ready or willing at the time to come out in my teens or twenties. I did the "normal" thing....married and had children. Part of me accepting responsibility is acknowledging what I did have in those years. Wonderful children, great associations with good people, and a good work ethic. Those are the things that I have to continually focus on....sometimes I get down, blame, have inordinate amounts of guilt and transfer that responsibility to others. I cannot and should not do that any more. I am responsible for where I am, who I am with and those lives I affect (positive or negative).
My suggestion to those reading..........TAKE responsibility!
2) I have learned this next lesson in the workforce. Do not allow the choices of others determine your attitude, mood and personal condition. At times we are reliant on others to perform certain tasks. We rely on their skills set, knowledge and expertise. If any one of those characteristics are lacking, your expectations will not be met. This problem may persist and continually be present in your life.....but what can YOU do to not allow this imperfect system to bring you down. One very influential person in my life continues to say that "it is outside my ability to control, I need to let it go". Part of that letting go is to not let the situation or persons take over your thoughts and feelings.
My suggestion to the reader........TAKE control of your reactions and interaction.
3) I have learned the next lesson most recently. There are certain people in your lives that are unpredictable, unreliable and unfair. These people live blindly to number 1 & 2 above.....then they get to number 3 and its set of circumstances. These people live to make others miserable. They blame others, never taking responsibility for anything and demand sympathy in their dire situation. These type of people allow others to make or break their mood cycle. These type of people are not in control. These people are self-righteous, thinking that they are right and justified in ever thing they do.....they are the ultimate victim. Before I go any further and since I was in a previous relationship....Rachel is NOT one of these people. There are others that have manifested themselves in my life that are truly caustic. The unfortunate thing is that since they are blameless, the victim and self-righteous.....these people will automatically say "I am not one of these people"!
My suggestion to the reader........EXTRACT these type of people from your life. They are there to only create unnecessary DRAMA!
I am trying to follow my own guidance. I am letting go of the blame and taking responsibility and control of my situation. I am removing caustic people from my life and not allowing them to have such a negative affect in my life. I have a lot to celebrate. I hope that I can keep on keeping on.