Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Stop it!

Over the weekend was the Mormon faithful General Conference.....feast of sorts.  One quote and talk that I listened to and am gratified was said over the pulpit was from Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  He said the following:

"When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges or wanting to cause harm — please apply the following: Stop it!"

More truer words could not have been said.  This means so much to one who is no longer part of the mainstream of the LDS church.  There are people that are judgmental and hurtful (at church or anywhere in each of our experiences).  One experience I will share to show the meaning this has for me...not necessarily to dually condemn those around this person.  I do still attend church with my children, 2 or 3 times a month.  I do and did have some wonderful associations there with people I loved and respected.  The majority of those associations have gone away.  Those that have been the most meaningful are still there and I appreciate those that have reached out and let me know that they are still thinking of me, I see that more now than any times in the past 16 months.

When I do attend church there is one person in particular, who I know very well and served with this person in a specific capacity.  I see the disdain, judgment and condemnation from this person just passing them in the hall or when I go to my seat in the main sacrament meeting.  I thought once that I would send this person an anonymous note to tell them what I thought about their actions and judgment.....in my fit of anger.....I wrote the letter......but I never sent it.

Now to generalize (not to focus on religion, but the human condition).  These type of people are all over in my life.  Not just in one isolated space.  So how do I deal with these type of interactions in a healthy way.  Believe me, I would like to write multiple letters....not all of them are on religion or sexual preference.....these letters could be written for people at work, volunteer groups, family, friends, etc...

What would I want the message to say that I would write these people?

"When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges or wanting to cause harm — please apply the following: Stop it!"

Plain and simple.  Great message.  I do not know what is going on in any given persons life that would give me pause to pass judgment......I am as guilty as the next person.  I need to improve and exemplify this type of behavior.  IT IS HARD TO DO!  Hopefully, I will get better......and those around me will see a difference.

1 comment:

  1. Chris-
    I have been reading your blog for a while now..and I just have to comment.
    Thank you for posting this particular post.
    I think that for me, being judgemental towards others is just something that 'I do'. I don't know why or how it started, maybe growing up in my home, but wherever it started, I need to stop.
    I also think that this particular post helped me to see things a bit more clearly regarding you.
    I can still remember that first Sunday, in the ward, and Rachel inviting us to dinner. I remember that YOU cooked it (it was divine!) and that our little family got to know your family. Between my hubby and I...we knew that you were gay. I don't know exactly what it was, but we just knew. And it didn't affect us or our friendship with you. The only question I have ever had, since finding out, was about how Rachel was doing with it. NOT because we don't value you and your feelings, but because this must have been a bit of a curveball for her.
    I think another reason why this post was so great, was because it shows how truly committed you are to things: to John, to your kids, and to the religion you left.
    I really enjoy hearing about those that have left the church (for different reasons) and still have a respect for it. I love that you still read your scriptures, pray and attend church. I don't think that any type of religion is just for those "perfect people" with no faults, etc.
    So, basically, I just want you to know that I respect you. I love your blog and how brutally honest and truthful you are. I think that reading your blog has helped me come to terms with my brother (he's also gay, but I have never had the 'official' talk with him).
    Again, thank you and keep writing!
    -Katie Kirkham